female courting gestures

female courting gestures

i’m still reading the book i got on body language & i’m loving it. it’s called the definitive book of body language, in case you’re interested.

it says that if you ask men who makes the 1st move in courtship amp; most of them will say they do.

wrong-a-mundo.

women are the initiators 90% of the time, or so says this book.

supposedly, there’s a 5-step sequence chicks go through when meeting a person they find attractive

stage 1: after the man notices her, she’ll hold his gaze for about 5 seconds, & turn away. man keeps watching to see if she does it again. most men are so dense that women have to do it an average of 3 times before a they even realize what’s happening.

stage 2:  her fleeting smile — a half-smile that’s her green light for him to approach

stage 3:  she sits up straight to emphasize her boobs and crosses her legs to show them at their best advantage. she’ll tilt her head to the side to expose her bare neck before playing with her hair for about 6 seconds, suggesting that she’s grooming herself for him.

now, you women probably can’t imagine having ever done this… just like me, i’m sure you’re far too cool.

stage 4:  man approaches & tries making small talk — some cheesy line like, what’s your sign.

stage 5:  she’ll find a way to touch him, which for novices means “accidentally” brushing his arm, the more experienced will touch it with their fingers, while the true hussy will simply cut to the chase & shake his hand.

okay, get ready because you’re going to love this: women are more sexually-active when they’re in the  middle of their cycle, the time they’re more likely to conceive. whatttt? this sounds totally bad idea, but there you are.

List of women’s most common gestures to show they’re on the make. forgive me, the book says “available.”

1.  head toss & hair flick. that means tossing it over her shoulders away from her face, something that even chicks with short hair do, which sounds totally senseless, but the gesture is intended to show that she cares how she looks. this also lets her expose her ARMPIT which allows her “sex perfume” to waft through the air.

oh, come on! I’ve got to start hanging out in bars so i can see this for myself.

2.  wets her lips & pouts with mouth slightly open.  this is done to make her face appear more “adolescent,” as thicker, fuller lips are a signal of youthful femaleness. for the truly desperate, collagen is a must.

i’m not even going to mention what the book compares the wet lips to, especially when slathered in red lipstick … as a “sexual invitation.”

3.  self-touching — the secret desire.  (please remember that i did NOT write this book)  when she slowly strokes her throat or thigh, she’s saying that if he plays his cards right, he can do it, too.

4.  the submission signal of the limp wrist.  i know what you’re thinking, and yes – the book says that not only do women do this, but also gay men — i’m completely serious. it goes on to say that this gesture is a great attention grabber because birds will feign a damaged wing to distract prey away from their nests. oh, & this gesture is intended to show the man that he can dominate.  oh, forever more!

5.  i’m embarrassed to even write this one. she’ll fondle a cylindrical object….  stem of her wine glass, a cigarette, maybe that tube of red lipstick she’s just slathered on her pouty lips.  she’ll even take her ring off her finger & put it back on several times. if you don’t get the symbolism of that one, well — I can’t help you

6.  exposing the smooth underside of her wrist — known to be an erotic area of the female body with more delicate skin. now, here’s a little-known fact: it’s the reason women apply their perfume there.

7.  glancing sideways over her raised shoulder — the shoulder shape mimics the round shape of a breast. doing this with drooped eyelids is also a nice touch.

8 & 9.  rolling hips & pelvic tilt – i actually skimmed these, but they had to do with the sexual use of these areas & something or other about childbirth.

10.  sliding her purse towards him — because of women’s  “don’t touch my damn purse” feelings, if she puts it close to him, it’s a strong signal of intimacy. if she thinks he’s a real fox, she’ll even begin to fondle it.  even typing this, i’m really embarrassed to be a woman.

11.  tucking her leg under hers rump & the knee point — double whammy on this one… gives her the opportunity to both point her knee at the man she’s interested in, AND flash her thighs.

12.  the ever-sexy shoe fondle — dangling her shoe off the end of her foot shows the phallic effect of the foot being thrusted in & out of the shoe. this action is said to especially unsettle men.  okay…..

13.  the leg twine —  by crossing her knees & pressing her top calf against her lower shin, it makes it look like she’s got muscle tone even if she hasn’t worked out for years. & being strong & healthy is a plus for good sex.

OMG   ……  enough said.

dilated pupils

dilated pupils

okay, I got a crazy new book today. It’s on body language, but you probably figured that out already.

it’s a pretty boring book, actually — takes lots of skimming to get to anything really good. here’s what’s interesting so far — it’s about the eyes. bet you didn’t know that the pupils do something weird, well i guess it’s not really weird, since it’s normal — but when you get excited or turned-on, or you basically really like something, your pupils dilate. like, big time. if i were really cool & knew how to use my computer better, i’d patch in some photos, but i’m not, & i don’t, so you’re going to have to use your imagination.

they’ve got pictures of this model. the first photo, she’s just basically looking at you with a seductive-ish smile — no big deal. next picture, same exact photo, except they’ve manipulated it to make her pupils dilated, like crazy-big, & guess what? she looks like a sexy babe. then, it says below the photo that Revlon increased its catalogue sales 45% by dilating their models’ eyes. nuts, right? well, no, i guess.

next thing on the pupils — they tested some dudes when they were looking at porn.  yep, their pupils dilate. go grab a mirror & pull up a porn site & see what happens. i can wait, or do it later — whatever.

you probably figured out that this  dilating is subconscious. or is it unconscious? either way, it happens whether you want it to or not. so, that partner of yours that you suspect is secretly gay — or straight? now you can find out for sure.

you’re welcome.

if you love david bowie as much as i do, and i really do, you’ll find this interesting.  not only are his eyes different colors (one’s blue & one’s hazel), one of them is permanently-dilated. this is a really cheap book & none of the photos are in color, so i couldn’t say whether it’s his blue eye or his hazel one, but he got the dilated pupil from a fistfight over a girl when he was a wee lad of 12 years old.

the book also says that babies have larger pupils than grownups & that their pupils constantly dilate when grownups are around, trying to look more appealing so they’ll get more attention. how weird is that?

okay — one last thing, because i know you’re getting antsy to pull up your porn site.   it’s about the whites of your eyes. humans are the only primates that have them, meaning that monkeys’ eyes are completely dark. you can tell where humans are looking — whether they’re acting shifty, or if a man’s checking out a chick’s boobs or something.  having no whites gives monkeys an advantage when they’re hunting because their prey has no idea if they’ve been spotted or if the monkey’s even looking at them at all.

oh, hey — i just thought of this — wonder if that single-dilated eye of bowie’s is why like half the population is crazy about him.  if they both were dilated, i’ll bet my mom would be listening to young americans in her car.

okay —   tootles

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