okay, I got a crazy new book today. It’s on body language, but you probably figured that out already.

it’s a pretty boring book, actually — takes lots of skimming to get to anything really good. here’s what’s interesting so far — it’s about the eyes. bet you didn’t know that the pupils do something weird, well i guess it’s not really weird, since it’s normal — but when you get excited or turned-on, or you basically really like something, your pupils dilate. like, big time. if i were really cool & knew how to use my computer better, i’d patch in some photos, but i’m not, & i don’t, so you’re going to have to use your imagination.

they’ve got pictures of this model. the first photo, she’s just basically looking at you with a seductive-ish smile — no big deal. next picture, same exact photo, except they’ve manipulated it to make her pupils dilated, like crazy-big, & guess what? she looks like a sexy babe. then, it says below the photo that Revlon increased its catalogue sales 45% by dilating their models’ eyes. nuts, right? well, no, i guess.

next thing on the pupils — they tested some dudes when they were looking at porn.  yep, their pupils dilate. go grab a mirror & pull up a porn site & see what happens. i can wait, or do it later — whatever.

you probably figured out that this  dilating is subconscious. or is it unconscious? either way, it happens whether you want it to or not. so, that partner of yours that you suspect is secretly gay — or straight? now you can find out for sure.

you’re welcome.

if you love david bowie as much as i do, and i really do, you’ll find this interesting.  not only are his eyes different colors (one’s blue & one’s hazel), one of them is permanently-dilated. this is a really cheap book & none of the photos are in color, so i couldn’t say whether it’s his blue eye or his hazel one, but he got the dilated pupil from a fistfight over a girl when he was a wee lad of 12 years old.

the book also says that babies have larger pupils than grownups & that their pupils constantly dilate when grownups are around, trying to look more appealing so they’ll get more attention. how weird is that?

okay — one last thing, because i know you’re getting antsy to pull up your porn site.   it’s about the whites of your eyes. humans are the only primates that have them, meaning that monkeys’ eyes are completely dark. you can tell where humans are looking — whether they’re acting shifty, or if a man’s checking out a chick’s boobs or something.  having no whites gives monkeys an advantage when they’re hunting because their prey has no idea if they’ve been spotted or if the monkey’s even looking at them at all.

oh, hey — i just thought of this — wonder if that single-dilated eye of bowie’s is why like half the population is crazy about him.  if they both were dilated, i’ll bet my mom would be listening to young americans in her car.

okay —   tootles