starting over

starting over

that was the name of one of those 80’s movies. kind of cute movie starring jill clayburg & burt reynolds.

movie poster had her biting his ear, i think.  & this blog post has absolutely nothing to do with that.

i have some great news.

if you’re thinking i’m going to say the painting juliana audio book is ready — hell, no.  i was hoping christmas. nope. end of school? not yet.

bummer, right?

imagine me in the recording booth.  it is a blast! i mean, who could read juliana but me?

when i flub a word or hate the way i say a line — the wrong inflection in my voice, or whatever — well, i find myself saying this a lot:

“CUT!”

after listening to the recordings, there’d still be edits to make.  i’m not sure what was wrong with me, but one day, i’m telling you, i sounded like a complete bitch, which clearly wouldn’t work.

when i had to re-record the entire chapter, I reminded myself of what my dad would say:

it was easy, martha, everybody would be doing it.

but, why’s it taking so long, you wonder?

well, there’s my producer. his name’s nacho. short for ignacio, & i promise he wouldn’t mind me throwing him under the bus.

nacho is so freaking busy, it’s ridiculous.

he plays in 3 bands. heavy metal, brown grass (like blue grass, but trashier) & punk, or, maybe it’s cool jazz — i forget.

he’s worth it because he does incredible work & he’s a genius.

no, i mean, the real kind.

just when i thought we were about to pick up the pace, he got a job as the night desk clerk @ a marriott in town.

i love him to death, but i was like, seriously?

deep, calm, cleansing yoga breath.

if it was easy, martha, everybody would be doing it, I remind myself.

things happen for a reason, so chill out, i say under my breath.

good things are worth waiting for, but ……

aaaaaaa-aaaaaackkkkkkkkkk!

so, back to the name of this blog post — I’M STARTING OVER, RIGHT?

relax. not the audio book! merciful heavens, no!

i’ve started a new book.  

that’s right — a new FREAKING  BOOK, like the real-deal, hardback. 

the kind you can hold in your hands with pages made of paper that just smell so damn good.

i’m tired of people saying, martha, are you working on anything new? & me saying, oh, yeah — totally, when i’m primarily writing the book in my head.

or, wasting time doing a blog post.

don’t take it personally. I love talking to you, but blogging does make me feel guilty.

when the book-words really start flowing, like they did yesterday,  i kind of think of it like throwing up.

i know that sounds gross, but when it happens, i can’t write fast enough.

i also write in longhand. on a yellow pad.

archaic? maybe, but there’s something about that process of the words traveling from my brain, down my neck, shoulder, my arm, until they reach the pencil in my fingers that works for me.

there’s a woman i’m working with. some brainy phd psychologist who’s helping me with some research on night terrors for the book.

(that’s part of what the book’s about.     ssssshhhhhhh!)

anyway, i was writing her this email, & the ricocheting ideas — well, my head was like a pinball machine.

so, that’s all. just wanted to share & just let you know it’s coming great.

i’ll work as fast as i can.

TTFN —     ta-ta for now!

gratitude

gratitude

with the exception of the years i gave birth to my children, 2014 has been the most wonderful year of my life.

come to think of it, i gave birth again, this year.

i gave birth to my novel, painting juliana.

it actually happened – my lifetime dream.

i am grateful.

to God, my spirit guides & angels, ancestors, & everyone who’s helped me, whether i’ve actually met them or not.

& i say thank you.

thank you for helping me.

my heart is filled with joy.

he makes me better

he makes me better

i met him in our very first class on our very first day of high school.

kind of a genius. he’d be the first one to tell you that. also, kind of goofball. he’d be the first one to tell you that, too. in fact, he pretty much reveled in it.

tall, hilarious & outrageous, it didn’t take long till we were like jenny & forest.

what would we have thought back then if we’d seen this historic picture? i know i’d have been surprised. him, i don’t think so.

his name is mark, & he was going to be the president of the sophomore class.

that’s what he said. i had my doubts.

especially when he got on stage dressed as uncle sam for his campaign skit.

blue & white striped, high-water pants, red bow-tie with matching suspenders, plus a ridiculous, foot-tall abe-lincolnesque top hat — pasted all over with white stars. not exactly what you’d call cool.

but, that’s what high school is supposed to be all about, right?

not really. not if you’re mark.

he had something far better. confidence. it’s one of the main things that drew me to him. i mean, opposites attract, right?

but, did he win? that’s what you really want to know.

not even close. but, let’s not focus on that, or the fact that he lost junior year, too — there’s more important parts of the story.

senior year came along.

“we’ll be running-mates, martha,” he said. “me, president, you, vice-president. it’ll be great — you’ll see.”

i wasn’t so sure. besides, me running for class officer?

my opponent, the ever-smiling, everybody’s buddy & champion gymnast, gerald martin did flip-flips across the stage to thunderous applause. all my skit amounted to was someone throwing a whipped-cream pie in my face.

oh, the head-shaking irony…. yes, i know.

but, mark? it was hello, mr. president.

now, please don’t think for a second that i was bitter. are you kidding? nobody was happier than me. i was grateful mark was my friend & thankful, because i knew that because of him — well, he made me better.

here we are, all these years later, & nothing’s changed. he’s been mr. president for years now. his own huge company, enough accolades to fill that foot-tall, abe-lincolnesque top hat many times over, not to mention richer than God.

& me? this past week, i achieved a lifetime goal. maybe you noticed that the count-down date for “The Most Exciting News on the Planet Earth,” on the sidebar has expired.

that’s right — my 1st published novel, painting juliana is finally out, glory hallelujah!

who do you think threw me a book launch celebration? who was standing there to introduce me, propping me up with pride & adoration? well, it wasn’t gerald martin.

& in case you’re reading this, mark, my cherished, loyal friend, thank you.

even in four-inch heels, i’m still looking up to you.

you make me better.

00smiling

TTFN

The Final Curtain

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